30 Days of Thanks - Days 14-20

Posted: 02 Dec 2012 09:39 AM PST

I am so very behind with the thankful posts. I'm going to try to catch up this morning. I have been out of commission this week with the flu - learn from my mistake and GO GET A FLU SHOT. You may never think to thank me for commanding you to do it, but that will be because you didn't get the flu and didn't have to think about it at all. You're welcome in advance.

Day 14- Medical Insurance

This would not have even crossed my mind in this lineup if it hadn't been for this week. Having medical insurance is something people who have it notoriously take for granted, and something that is really difficult to forget about if you don't happen to have coverage. I've definitely been on both sides of the spectrum on more than one occasion in my life. Last year, I got the flu too. The difference was that I had no health insurance and my husband and I couldn't afford for me to go to the doctor at all. It was probably three times worse than the flu I caught this year. This year, I just went straight to the doctor, accepted his lecture about getting a flu shot (which I fully deserved and have taken to heart), filled a prescription and started to feel better. Last year it took me about three weeks to feel better, then I got mildly sick again with something else, and just barely got my Christmas gifts bought and wrapped in spite of feeling so terrible.

This in light of also needing to begin taking some other medications for some other medical issues this week, I have to take a moment to be so very thankful for my husband having insurance that covers us both. We are so incredibly blessed and provided for by the Lord, and while the answers to our prayers last year weren't instantaneous like we so often hope when we pray, in hindsight, we now see how God was working to better our situation and our lives in his way and in his timing. I'm so very thankful and grateful for that!

Day 15- The Library

We have the advantage of living really close (within a mile or so) to the public library in our area, which until recently, I have completely taken for granted. Then, the other day, I received an epiphany that I didn't have to limit my love for books to the bargain bin indefinitely. I could just simply borrow them by the bagful from the library. I can request books left and right from the surrounding libraries and in a few days they're waiting on me up front to be picked up an enjoyed. My library card, the books, the requests, etc. None of it has cost me even one penny. In a world where nothing seems to be free anymore, I have to say, this has been a great find/recollection. The library is often taken for granted in our digital world, and I'm just as guilty as the next person of eschewing hard copies for the things I can read on my iPad. But lately, it's felt really good to unplug and sit in my little glider chair next to our bed and read at night instead of messing around on the computer. I think it's good for my attention span too!

Day 16- Our Goals

I think it is always good to have goals and things to look forward to in life. Things to always be working toward. David and I have so many goals to dream about and work toward. They require us to eat better, stay within a budget, cast aside the things we can do with out. They encourage us to work harder, spend more time praying and reading the bible together, they bring us closer together for the pleasure of living life in the moment and being thankful for what we have. Our goals teach us to cherish our lives as they are, while simultaneously building a family, a legacy, and allowing God to write our story as he sees fit.

Day 17- I'm thankful we don't have everything

This is an interesting one, because so many people, and myself included at one time, would not count this as something to be thankful for. But I truly am thankful to have our modest means. While so many people were saying to me that we ought to buy a lottery ticket, and speculating what they would do with that kind of money, all I could think about is how much more of a burden that type of money and lifestyle would be for me. I enjoy the simple things, the quiet pleasure of making the best of things, finding something when you thought you had nothing. I enjoy the work involved in using only what the Lord has blessed us with that month. In using the means and resources available to us that we have earned and nothing more. I know to many this may sound strange, and that's all right with me because I may not have articulated this feeling the best way. Of course, the longing to always be a little more comfortable, to have a little more this or that, will always be there. But I think character is built through the struggle, and wisdom and learning is is grown through both trials and triumphs from your own hands. I believe the Lord wants us to be happy and content in our situations, as best we can, through our knowledge of him. I'm thankful for that opportunity, and I'm thankful that my quality of life is so great, especially when I know it could be so much worse! It's amazing how blessed you can feel if you just manage to take a step back and see that all you have is already so much more than you deserve.

Day 18- Our neighborhood

We have some pretty great neighbors. We visit one another, have watched television together, gone shopping, had puppy play dates, and even borrowed cups of sugar from one another a time or two. We are so blessed to live among friendly people the way we do. There have been many times, I've asked a neighbor to come over and walk our dogs because we can't get back home as quickly as we planned. I've walked their dogs, we've rescued pets, had our pets rescued, etc. Most of the people in this neighborhood are extremely friendly - which has been great for us as we moved in here as a just-married couple. It has really helped to make this place our home, to make this neighborhood feel safe and secure. I love the pleasure that comes from seeing a friendly face on a daily basis as we're out walking the dogs or checking the mail. I treasure that we have people that we can trust and rely on all around us. I also know that it doesn't always work that way. My father's neighbors are the kind of people that make a point to avoid the people that live around them at all costs - even to the point of being rude!  So it's definitely pertinent to take a moment to give thanks for nice neighbors!

Day 19- The things that make me unique

I often like to complain about all the things that make me really unique. I complain that I have to wash my hair every day or it looks like I haven't washed it in a week. But I'm thankful I have hair to wash! I complain that I'm not thin, and worry about what other people think about it. But I'm thankful that I'm alive, and that God's made me who he wants me to be. I'm thankful for this journey he has placed me on, whatever the outcome. I complain that my teeth aren't perfect, that my feet are too big, that I sometimes lisp when I talk. But I'm so thankful that I have good teeth, two feet to walk on, and that my voice can be heard no matter what it sounds like. It sometimes doesn't matter how blessed we are, when we look at the same reflection in the mirror every day for our entire lives, it's impossible not to find fault with what we see. Instead I want to be grateful that I can see my own reflection. While there are some things I can change about myself, I want to also love myself for being God's creation, and for being the woman he's made me into. When you begin to think of yourself that way, it does seem more difficult to criticize yourself. You're not any less than anyone else, just different. And it's definitely okay to be different. I am thankful to be me.

Day 20- Our new family bible

We have so many bibles in this house. Big ones, little ones. This version and that version. Ones that were gifts, one's that I've acquired, and one that I bought when I became a Christian as a teenager. That bible has been through so much with me. It's highlighted and written in and there are notes in it everywhere. For a really long time, it was my comforter and my guidance when I didn't know where else to go. Recently, my husband and I began a new regiment of trying to include "Bible time" that is, a bible reading into our evening time together. It sparked his interest in the difference between each of the versions we had, and how small in size my personal bible was for us to try to read together. It had been the perfect size for just me. But for us together, it was too small. Then one day, David dropped a bombshell. What if he got us a new bible, a family bible, that could be mine if I needed it. And what if I could let him have my old one? My eyes got wide. Give him MY bible? No! But then I paused, and thought on it for a moment. I remembered hearing from somewhere, that one of the most important things you can do, one of the most loving things you can do is to give a prized possession to someone as a gift. I believe that the Lord was involved here, and he was talking to my heart. I went with my husband the other day and we picked out our new family bible - it's much larger and we've enjoyed reading it together in the evenings for over a week now. As I wrote this, I realized that I haven't heard him give mention again to taking my old bible. But now I realize how important it is to me that he have it. That he have that bible I used to learn to love the Lord, to understand the Gospel, and that encouraged me to give my heart to Christ when I was truly lost. I'm thankful for our new family bible because it is giving me this opportunity to pass mine on to him.

Thanks as always for reading. I send blessings from our home to yours!

Love,
Casey

Day 13- Thankful for Familial closeness.

Posted: 24 Nov 2012 07:24 AM PST

I have been up early nearly every morning this week getting some baking done for my husband's family/church Thanksgiving, baking the day before Thanksgiving, cooking all day on Thursday with the Macy's parade going on the the background, and finally getting up early on Friday morning to take advantage of some of the deals at Petsmart (we spoil our animals, so sue us!). I am in the midst now of recovering and reflecting on what a pleasure this week has been and how blessed David and I are to have ones who love us.

I am so thankful that my husband and I have this close of a family. His aunts and uncles and cousins make a point to be so much closer than my extended family has, and it is such a blessing for me to now be a part of that family as his wife. They love each other fiercely and protectively look out for one another and they make a point to make time to all get together for the Holidays at their church's fellowship hall.  I think that is something to be cherished - something that my family once had when the generations had more siblings and were younger. It makes me crave a larger family, to carry on that tradition. To inspire them all to want to be together.

On Thanksgiving Day, we hosted my family as well as my husband's, and for the first time, we had all of our immediate family, at one point under one roof! I remember having times like that as a child, and how nice it was, the more people that were there. We interacted as both a whole and as individuals. No one was excluded. I closed the door on Thanksgiving night to the last guest, and David and I both paused to say aloud how wonderful that was. We are so blessed to have these people in our lives! We are dually blessed that they all made it - even at different points of the day - to come by. Nothing is so comforting as having your loved ones nearby.

The older I get, the more I realize the importance of family.

When you're young, you believe that friendships are everything. And indeed, friendships are a huge part of adolescent development. But friends come and go, they disappoint you and never feel that obligation to love and forgive the way you feel with your family.

The Bible encourages us to cleave closer to our families, and I admit, that in the past, it has been difficult for me to do that. Familial structure for me has never been entirely stable. Sometimes I had little family, sometimes I felt unwelcome with step-parents, sometimes things just seemed to keep falling apart and again and again I felt myself feeling very alone. When I decided to begin my own life with my husband, I went into it wanting something very different. I felt determined to have it. I wanted to be a part of a new kind of family, one with structure and communication and understanding. I wanted my children to have the thing that I never had - the security of home. The Lord has blessed us so far, with an incredible support system. We were very rich in hugs and I love you's before the holiday was through.

This Thanksgiving was really a wonderful day of Thanks and one I'll remember for years to come. 

30 Days of Thanks - Days 9-12

Posted: 12 Nov 2012 07:17 PM PST Days 1-8 here.  Day #9-I am thankful that I have not one, but two very good computers that allow me access to the internet and to other like-minded individuals who both encourage and inspire me on a daily basis. I'm also thankful that my husband is an IT guy and can save my computers if anything ever happens to them! Day #10 - Where we live. I'm so thankful that we live in such close proximity to the Blue Ridge mountains. Mountain mist is in my blood and soul. I feel a strong connection to the folklore and the culture here, and I am proud to be a part of that tradition. Day #11 - Our "new" kitchen table. As long as David and I have been married, we've been talking about how much we would have liked to have a new kitchen table. Our previous table, pictured above, was a hand-me-down about five times over, and quite a bit wobbly. Most importantly, it didn't accommodate enough people. We wanted a table that would be sturdy and last us, hopefully forever. But, of course, it was just one of those wish-list items we wanted and could put off as it wasn't in high demand. However, a couple of weeks ago, our neighbor had an estate sale, and their really nice table was for sale at a really affordable price - six chairs and the cushions included. It was too good to pass up! So, without warning, the Lord provided us with a minor need. Soon after, our old table got a new home and we were able to get a table that will last us, hopefully for our lifetime. Day #12 - Our car. I know that having a vehicle that causes very little problems is a blessing. Ours hasn't been a perfect vehicle. Since we've owned it, the car has had air conditioner problems, accelerator pedal problems, and tire problems. We're thankfully still under warranty, though, and our car gets us from point A to point B on a regular basis. I know there are so many people out there that do not have this luxury. I know we are blessed. And so I have to add this to the list.

30 Days of Thanks Challenge

30 Days of Thanks Challenge - Days 1-8 Posted: 08 Nov 2012 10:01 PM PST So I came across this tonight, and I felt like this was something I really needed to do. I am as guilty as the next person of not showing enough gratitude for all of the things I have in life that are so so important to me. But... since we're already eight days in November, I'm gonna have to play catch up. You have no idea how much I was wishing we had managed to do a group shot while I was cropping this picture! :) Day 1 - Family (This is everyone together on our wedding day). We are so incredibly lucky to have such an amazing support system with our sisters and parents. We can't thank the Lord for them enough!  Day 2 - Lucy (I was going to do all of my animals together, but I changed my mind). This beautiful cat has the privilege of being the only other female in this house. She and I have to stick together. David and I brought her and her brother, Sebe, home the day after our honeymoon so they've really been with us since day one. Lucy is definitely our delicate soul. She is always up for a snuggle and never interested in hanging around when things get noisy or busy. We call her our guard kitty because she growls like a dog when someone rings our doorbell. Day 3- Sebe (pronounced Seh-bee). Sebe, short for Sebastien, got his name after three different people randomly told me that I should name my cat Sebastien. That was good enough for us! This guy has the reputation for being just about the nosiest animal around. If you come to our house, it's not unusual for him to go through your purse! He is probably the highest-ranking in the fun category, as he is always trying to make us laugh by climbing into boxes or cupboards. He's a mess, but we love him!  Day 4- Liam (Our newest addition). Liam is our newest fur-child that came to live with us last March. He is a year old Shih-tzu, and just happens to be the cuddliest, sweetest, lovebuggiest pup. He literally thinks he is our baby, which is great, because in our eyes, he definitely is. When we adopted Liam, we found out he was the last of his litter and were floored! Who wouldn't want this amazing little guy? I guess we were super lucky that no one saw his potential, because I don't know what we would do without him! Day 5 - Tucker (Ruck-Ruck!). Tucker was our first puppy, another Shih-tzu, and he will be two years old in April. We brought him home, at six weeks old, and were introduced to a whole new world of puppy parenting! We'd been so spoiled with our self-sufficient cats, we had no idea that bringing home a baby pup was going to be very much like bringing home an infant. I think back fondly to the days when my boy looked more like a guinea pig than a dog. I remember my neighbor walking up to have a look at him and asking "What is that?!" Because of how little he was, and how we raised him, I think he will always have a very special place in our hearts. He's our "big" guard dog, and to hear him bark, he might just make a believer out of you! Day 6- Prescription Sunglasses (Seriously). Don't laugh, I'm perfectly serious. I have worn glasses pretty much every day of my life from the age of seven on. I'm one of those people that if I were to misplace my glasses, I would be in serious trouble. Like Velma from Scooby Doo. Until this summer, I had never in my life owned a pair of prescription sunglasses. Then, my husband got vision insurance. Finally, finally could I buy some sunglasses that would replace my everyday glasses when necessary. I am so thankful that I don't have to wear those sunglasses that go over my glasses and make me look like I have glaucoma (and are really uncomfortable) anymore. So this is a definite blessing to be thankful for.  Day 7 - Our house (No, we don't still have a pumpkin out). As you may have already guessed (or maybe you haven't), Whitaker Plantation isn't a plantation, it's a townhome. And while we complain about space and clutter, and storage, and all of it, I'm so thankful for our home. I know we won't always live here, but I also know how precious and special it is to have a home that belongs to us alone - so many people in the world are in need of shelter. There is so much to be thankful for when you think of that.  Day 8 - Right to vote. While I don't always have things go my way when I get out there and vote, I realize that that is not really even the point. The point is, of course, that I do get to have an opinion, and I do have the right to vote in favor of or against things. People have fought and sacrificed to make that happen for me, and I do my best to be thankful for it, and not take that privilege for granted.  Whew! Now I'm caught up! *Yes, I realize that I didn't change the days #'d on 3&4 but I was too lazy to go back and re-crop and everything. Y'all know what I meant right?  As always, we send blessings from our home to yours,  Casey

Autumn Series Pt 2 - Burt's Pumpkin Farm & Mercier Orchards

As we have been making a point to enjoy this fall season, we recently took a day to drive north of where we live and enjoy some of the attractions of the seasons. I really wanted to go to Burt's Pumpkin farm because every year, for whatever reason we don't make it up there. I felt like everyone had gotten to check it out but me. So we all piled in my dad's car (Sarah, Me, David, and Daddy) and we drove up to see what we could see. Having decided to forgo a trip to the pumpkin farm the year before because when we got up there it was absolutely covered up (that's southern for there being nowhere to park), and I had just told David to drive on, we decided to go pretty early. In fact, we went right at the end of September. We were really lucky, because at that time of the season, it's pretty busy, but we were able to find a parking space and it didn't feel claustrophobic at all.

The highlight of the farm trip was getting to take a hayride. Sunflowers are my favorite, so I really enjoyed driving through the sunflower and pumpkin patches and getting to see how the farm worked. It was a pleasant ride, and my sister Sarah got to relive her childhood fear of the animatronic Pumpkins (Gordy and Autumn). As a child, they'd seemed really scary to her, so it was fun for her to get to come back and see that it was just a memory laced with hyperbole and that it was really nothing at all to be afraid of.

Something that really resonated with me, was how around that time was when I was struggling to turn my life around and bring my heart back to Jesus. I was feeling a lot of guilt about how I had been behaving toward my faith, and how instead of leaning on Him during the tough times, I had completely pushed Him away and shut it out entirely. Even though I knew in my heart that forgiveness was what the Lord is all about, I was having a hard time forgiving myself and I was carrying around an intense amount of guilt as I sought forgiveness - not feeling at all like I deserved to be forgiven. In fact, for a while, I was really ashamed to even ask my Lord to forgive me.

Well anyway, in the midst of this time, God was everywhere in my life. He never let me forget about Him, now that I was actively seeking him again. I would go to the bathroom at the grocery store, and there would be a sticker on the stall door with scripture on it. I would see billboards, road signs, advertisements on the internet. I would get in the car with my girlfriend, who I rarely talked about faith with, and she would bring it up to me. God wasn't letting me forget about Him this time. He didn't care about my guilt and my shame; He wanted me back. For good, this time.

This hayride was no exception to this rule. Indeed, in no other place but that hayride, those animatronic pumpkins started talking to us about what it meant to be a child of God. Gordy was telling Autumn about how he was afraid to become a jack-o-lantern because they scraped all your insides out and put a light inside of you. Autumn wisely explained to him that it could be a good thing, that becoming a jack-o-lantern was much like becoming a child of God - clearing out all of the bad stuff inside of you and being born again as something new - something with a light inside of you. Someone that can go out into the world with that light and draw others in.

I think a few people laughed, because the lesson was meant for the kids in general. But for me, it was something I still think about weeks later. It was soon after that that I began to feel the forgiveness I was ashamed to seek. At the time, I didn't make the connection or even attribute anything to that message, but looking back, I have no doubt that it was meant for me to hear. I needed to know that all of the things in the past didn't matter. That what mattered now was that I was willing to put it all behind me and open myself up so that my faith could take over. It was the pathway I'd been searching for to be saved again. It just proves that God can use anything to His advantage, anytime, and any place.

Photos courtesy of Mercier orchards

Another great place we visited that day was Mercier Orchards. We got there just in time for the wagon tour of the orchards, and filled ourselves with their famous fried pies, fudge dipped apples, muscadine slushies, and fudge. The store at Mercier's is pretty special because it has so many things to look at - so many different kinds of jellys, jams, preserves, dip mixes, sauces, decorations, kitchen utensils, toys, and collectables. A person could stay there all day.We went home with a frozen jug of cider and a bag of apples - our stomachs begging us for real food. It is always special to get to visit up there and try new things and to enjoy the things that are so unique to that place.

The very best part of that trip was what a laid back and pleasant day that was for us. It really was such a joy to be able to take our time, relax, and spend the entire day together. No one got angry or fussed about time or wanting to do something others didn't - it just wasn't that kind of day. It was one of the most pleasurable Sundays spent in my immediate memory. I am always advocating for more of those. Family so often is put on the back-burner, that we are all guilty of taking our time with loved ones for granted. I know I am extremely guilty of that. And so, it was dually a blessing to enjoy each other and take our time to savor the season and the peace that fall transitions us to receive.

Thanks for reading, and I hope you are enjoying all of the things this wonderful season has to offer!

Blessings! 

Surviving the Newlywed Phase

In life, I am a lot of things. I’m a woman, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a writer, a homemaker, a Christian, a teacher, and too many other things to name. Most notably, and for the purpose of this piece, I am human. Sometimes my self-control and ability to become irritable or angry don’t even one another out. Sometimes I’m really impatient…and mean. I don’t want to be any of those things. It just happens. 

Sometimes I’m ridiculously emotional, like today, when I cried in the car for thirty minutes for absolutely no reason at all. It’s who I am, it’s humanity – and even though I know prayer and maturity and self-control are all better options, sometimes I let the wheels come off and behave irrationally. If you are talking to my sweet, extremely patient husband, it happens more than sometimes. Particularly if it is a particular week on a monthly calendar. 

 

But he’s not perfect either – he’s a bear when he’s hungry, incapable of thinking of anything else when he has a work thing on his mind, and best of all, he loves to pick on me because he thinks it’s cute when I’m mad. I don’t know about you, but the last thing I feel like when I am angry is cute. 

The point I’m trying to make here, is that marriage is hard. It just is. It’s agreeing to have the same person right next to you for the rest of your life – their toothbrush next to your toothbrush, elbow to elbow in the car, bed, closet, church, dinner table,  and bathroom mirror for ever and ever amen. And, while that definitely does get easier over time, it is NOT easy to jump in with this arrangement straight from a blissful engagement and tropical honeymoon. 

What I wish more people would be honest about is how miserable the first year of marriage can be for newlyweds. While you’re engaged, you’re absolutely bombarded with the idea of newlywed bliss, all shacked up with your new hubby all to yourself. You’ll keep your house spectacular and tidy at all times, and he will love everything you cook and bring you flowers every month on the way home from work. You love each other so much you could burst, so it’s definitely not going to be hard to live together, right?

Wrong. 

Wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong. I wish someone could have told me the truth – not that I would have listened. I was just as starry-eyed as the next affianced girl. You couldn’t have told me anything. I boasted about how David and I were different. Marriage was going to be easier for us, we had the relationship thing down-pat. We’d be together forever…

While I still believe that David and I will always be together – I do love him with all my heart, and I do still believe that what we have is special and unique, I now have a more realistic and non-judgmental understanding of why marriages fail, and why it is so important to put forth a significant effort to keep mine strong. 

You see, there’s this part of us, whether we lived with our parents, by ourselves, or with a roommate or two before marriage, that is wildly independent. As a single woman, I answered to no one. I made plans without having to take anyone else’s time in consideration, I was able to multitask and sometimes successfully execute three or four activities all in one day, I could stay up as late as I liked, sleep in as late as I wanted when I didn’t have anything else to do. I could spend all day in my pajamas reading a book and not eating a thing until dinnertime and it didn’t affect anyone but me. I didn’t have to share my time with anyone, I didn’t have to take time to think about anyone else’s feelings, and I while my freedom was always within reason, I was able to do pretty much anything I wanted. 

Relationships are so different from marriage in this way because you’re not living with a spouse, you aren’t one flesh with one schedule and one budget, and one set of 24 hours in a day to do all the things you need to do – together. 

Needless to say, I wasn’t at all prepared for the culture-shock that marriage was going to be for me. I both rebeled against aligning my time with my new husband’s, and was continuously frustrated with his inability to align his schedule with mine. He was still coming and going as he pleased, not adjusting his work-schedule to bring him home in time for dinner every night. And I was spending plenty of nights home alone fuming as dinner went cold. 

We fought – and fought and fought and fought. We’re both two very strong personalities and so we clashed on everything. If you had told me before marriage that David and I would have a full-on serious argument about which brand of mayonnaise we were going to buy I would have laughed. How ridiculous! But once you get into the “my mom always did it like ___________” conversations, you realize that literally anything can be a source of contention in a marriage.  Don’t even get me started on when he doesn’t like something your family has eaten for dinner your entire life – it’ll feel like he’s just insulted your mother!

So many times, it’s unbelievable how many times, in that first year of marriage did I really and truly wish with all of my heart that I wasn’t married anymore. I would pray and promise everything, anything anything to be free of the burden of marriage. I felt like I was losing myself, that I was having to become someone else. And I didn’t want to, I liked myself just fine. It was scary and very unlike anything I ever experienced before.

Someone asked me right after I was married if I felt married and I was very honestly surprised that I had to say no. I had always thought it would feel different immediately, that it would be some sort of miraculous transformation, and that as soon as we were pronounced man and wife, I would feel lovingly bonded to my husband forever. But feeling married comes on slowly, creepingly and honestly, it wasn’t until I was in the thick of things that I truly felt married – but of course it wasn’t in the lovingly bonded way that I had hoped, instead I felt well and thoroughly yoked. 

But this isn’t meant to be a story of doom and gloom, rather it is one of triumph. Marriage is meant to be two people, coming together, from two very different lives, and making a new life and family together. It’s a beautiful thing, and it has been the best thing in my life. However, for me to truly appreciate and accept this part of myself, there was just as much I had to let go of to embrace it. Becoming a wife for me was like shedding a skin. It wasn’t comfortable at all and I fought against it kicking and screaming. 

One of the most important lessons I have learned from marriage is something I never really had the privilege of understanding from the examples of the married folks in my life (mostly because none of their marriages were ones to look to) was that just because David and I didn’t see eye to eye on things, and just because we drove each other nuts sometimes, did not mean that we weren’t going to make it. You see, I didn’t know how to disagree with my husband or have him disagree with me without overreacting to it. Just because David and I couldn’t agree on what kind of mayonnaise to buy, or how to load the dishwasher, or how many goals we could accomplish in one day didn’t mean that we were destined for divorce like I feared –what it meant was that we were experiencing our growing pains. We were learning things about each other that had never mattered before when we weren’t living under the same roof and we were learning how to love and compromise through the hiccups in our domestic  bliss. 

David and I still argue, and many times it's still over silly things. From experience, though, we are better equipped with knowing when to let things go, when to give each other space, when to compromise, and most importantly, when to let the other have their way – just because we love each other. 

I still study and learn from my husband, and I know he is still learning from me. As we have rejuvenated our Christian faith and our lifestyles have adjusted accordingly, I have learned to let him lead more than ever. While it has been something I’ve grown more and more comfortable with throughout our marriage, I’ve recently been willingly giving him the final say in everything. I do so not because I don’t think my ideas are valid or because I don’t think I can make my own decisions – but because I trust him to take my feelings and ideas in consideration when he does make the choice.  Most of the time, he does things exactly how I would have done them, and even when he doesn’t, I feel comfortable knowing that sometimes things are not completely on my shoulders in life. I’m perfectly comfortable giving this to him.

Two and a half years in is nothing in the larger scheme of marriage, but I can tell you with all my heart, that I am more in love and more happy with my husband now than I have ever been. I am more content, comfortable, and smitten with him now even when he’s driving me crazy than I was six months ago and twice more than I was six months before that, and so on. He and I have faced so much together already, and he has been there for me and supportive of me in ways that no one else has ever been. Time has given us this comfort, and good character on his part has given me the security and support to know that whatever we face in the future, we’re going to do it hand in hand. 

Christ has strengthened our marriage more than ever. Instead of facing our problems all alone and without guidence, we pray. We pray at meal times, we pray before bed, we pray for each other, and pray to lift up our concerns for everyone and everything else. We have accepted God’s will in all things and take the comfort that can be derived from it. We are kinder to one another, more patient, more eager to please the other as a good husband and wife. We’re less selfish, and by being so, more of our needs are met by the other, and not in a scramble to do for ourselves. Our faith and marriage grows stronger every day.

David and I aren’t perfect, sometimes we argue daily. In fact, inspiration for this blog came from me storming upstairs in a huff because he started eating my freshly baked brownies out of the dish with a fork instead of letting me cut them into perfect squares. I was furious! But, by the time I was upstairs and into my pajamas, though, I was already sorry. As much as the thought of my brownies in crumbles drives me nuts, and I’m really trying not to focus on it lest I get exasperated again, it doesn’t really matter. Not in the long run. 

Instead, I choose to focus on the wonderful things about our marriage that I take for granted until we’re apart. Like how David is truly and completely a partner and a team player with me on all things. He takes responsibility and apologises when he’s wrong. He takes half the burden on daily chores like who is going to walk the dogs in the morning and at night vs who is going to make breakfast or pick up the living room before bed. When I don’t feel good or have had a long day substituting, he’ll tell me to go take a nap and cooks dinner for us, his choice. Sometimes I go to put up the laundry and discover he’s already done it and it’s not unusual to see him outside washing one of our cars after work. There’s so many things I can rely on him to take care of without ever being asked, and my daily life is spent endeavoring for him to be able say that about me too.  

David’s and my marriage may be young, but we already have what so many people are without, and that is a solid foundation.  In my life, where so many family members and close friends have come and gone in spite of my love for them, it has been both terrifying and refreshing for someone to come into my life and want to stay forever on purpose, no exceptions. I have no doubt in my mind that the Lord brought us together.  I am so thankful for him, for all of him – even the parts that drive me crazy – and on the fourth anniversary of the day he came into my life, I’m pleased to say that there’s no where I’d rather be, and no person I’d rather be, than his wife. 

If there is anything that can be taken away from this post, I hope it will be that while new marriages are often hard, they’re absolutely worth seeing through and building upon. What we need now more than ever, in this world, is to focus on our families and our faith – if we don’t it will fade with the wind. While I’m still waiting for someone to send me an “I survived the newlywed phase” t-shirt, I hope you’ll take from this a little peace and comfort that your own marriage is more resilient than the petty things you and your spouse tend to spar over. 

Happy anniversary, David, I am so thankful for our marriage and I’m glad I let you switch us to Duke’s mayonnaise and that you learned to let me load the dishwasher how I want.

Blessings!

Autumn Series - Intro

Now that I'm really getting going with this blog, I thought I would start my first series. I love Autumn so much, I think it borders on going even further than that. For whatever reason, I just seem to always feel more alive in the fall. It's the smells, the colors, the food, the activities, and maybe even the scarves. I don't know what it is about this glorious season that just makes me so unbelievably happy. But whatever it is, I am so happy to share my love for all things fall.

Here in Georgia, there seems to be so many activities this time of year, that there just isn't time to do everything. My sister loves soccer, and has been playing it practically her entire life, so with the new school year comes a new season of soccer playing. She's trying something a little different this year, and was blessed to be chosen to play for a select team, and thus we've been getting up early on Saturday mornings and chasing her all over the state to watch her games. It really is such a wonderful gift to for us (grandparents, daddy, sister, hubby and myself) to be able to all pile in my dad's expedition and spend the day in the car, sitting together on the field watching her play, and having an afternoon together afterward. So many people don't have the privilege to see their families even once a week, much less have guaranteed days to spend with them like we do when she's playing soccer. It's such a great blessing and we love that it's all with the purpose of allowing my sister to do something she loves.

In any case, while we maneuver around her crazy soccer schedule, we're trying to balance some fall-themed activities in our lives along with our other responsibilities, it just brings me to another reason why I love this season. Every thing seams possible in the crisp fall air. Yes we can go to an apple orchard and a pumpkin farm in the same day! Yes we can go to the corn maize and the apple festival! That'll be just after church or after lunch or maybe if we hurry we can get there just in time to catch the hayride. There's so much fun to be had. I'm glad hubby's on board to enjoy it all with me!

David and I are really enjoying this season of life. With two years of marriage under our belts, we can safely say that the newlywed phase is ending for us, and that we're settling into something new that is both fresh and familiar. We're those people that found the newlywed phase really difficult. We struggled with finances, clashing character traits, personal loss, and with deciding what kind of married couple we wanted to be - ones who were going to face this world downtrodden and alone or ones that were ready to follow Christ. As the bible says, we all have that feeling deep down, that knowledge of God - of his love and understanding. What so many of us struggle against is actually the peace that following his guidance brings. I'm so happy to finally say that our family (present and future) will be following and serving the Lord. It has been one of the most freeing and refreshing feelings - letting go of trying to over-control everything, and choosing to cling to our faith. Being raised as Christians, we always knew the way to go, what was best, but found ourselves caught up and lost in the jumble of today's society and expectations. Faith seems, more often than not, to be lost in the journey. I'm relieved to report that for us, we are no longer lost. We've found home in Christ.

What a blessed season marks this Autumn, and we are ready to celebrate!

Love,
Casey